To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.
-Ogden Nash
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
-Bill Cosby
-Patrick Murray
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
-Groucho Marx
An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
-Agatha Christie
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
-Henry Youngman
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
-Joyce Brothers
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye-to-eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-Homer
My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-Rita Rudner
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.
-Ogden Nash
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
-Lord Byron
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-Phyllis Diller
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married.
-Katharine Hepburn
Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.
-Joyce Brothers
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
-George Lichtenberg
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